Tough decisions

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


I'm in a tight spot at the moment. You know when you went through something in the past more than once and initially you have that intuition [that I now learned to follow] and you're in the same situation again?! ugh, I hate that feeling of having to be in that position again, where I must make a tough decision and I cant help but to think of the previous outcome.  They say, you shouldn't hold on to negative experiences from the past because each situation and time is different from the next, but I just have this spaced out feeling inside. I'm trying to weigh out the good and the bad, but I just can't seem to decide :/ 


Do you think people should let go of past [negative]experiences? because hey, not everyone/everything is the same the next time around? 

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


Its so sad to see what this world has come to.  It seems like people become heartless by the minute. Each step of life, we learn things that change us as a person, inside and out.  This week has definitely been one of those weeks.   My grandfather passed away Monday night in Pakistan (May Allah SWT grant him a place in Jannah, Ameen).  I feel like I've learned so much about life, but know I still have a lot more to learn.  I still have that feeling that I will see him again, and that he will come back to the US and live with us, but unfortunately that isnt possible. I think this is the first death I've experienced of someone close to me, or someone who I actually spent time with and have grown to love. 


From what I've seen/heard during this whole time I'm pretty hurt at the fact that people don't respect their elders, whether its their own kids even.  I would like to share a few details of a Hadith:


In a final ḥadīth:  A man came to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and said, “O Messenger of Allāh, my father has died, is there anything I can do to bring him benefit?”  If your parents are alive, you need to do as much as you can physically and financially, be in touch with them, call them, have good relations with them, and visit them as frequently as possible.  If one or both of them have gone on, the rights of the parents don’t end even after they have left this earth.  The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said, “Of course, there is so much you can do.  You can make du‘ā’ and istighfār for them and seek forgiveness for them – O Allāh, make their qabr a vast place, O Allāh increase their ranks in Jannah and O Allāh forgive their sins, O Allāh put away any evil they have done’ – and you can give ṣadaqah on their behalf and you can give udhiyah on their behalf and you can go for Hajj on behalf of your parents (this is one of the best things you can do for them as long as you have done Hajj for yourself), and you can do ‘umrah on behalf of them.  Visit the relatives and friends your parents had who you do not have much relationship with but you resurrect those relationships and friendships in order to bring about the memory of your parents.”  One of the things we can do is if your parents had distant relatives or friends who are not a part of your circle of friends, visit them for the sake of birr of your parents.


See link for more wonderful info: (http://navedz.wordpress.com/tag/parents/)

Do you ever think about how you treat your elders? What are your fears/concerns about when you will get "old"?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


So I missed one week of my QOTW! did u miss me? I hope so! =)  I've just been so busy with my final and with my Henna stuff. Trying to book events and prepare for them mostly!  Well here it goes,


I find it quite offensive when people try to underpay me for my Henna work.  It requires a lot of time, skill and passion. What annoys me is when people don't complain about going to a beauty parlor for example-to get their henna, makeup, hair,e tc done or shopping at brand stores for ridiculous prices, but when it comes to a freelance artist/craft (any kind) you don't think they're worth THAT much?! smh.  It is just like any other job, and we expect at least some appreciation.  

If you are an artist, what is one of the most bizarre things a customer has said to you or asked for? 
If you fit in the 'customer' category, please feel free to give your opinion about this and if you shop with local artists in your area.

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


We all know eating in the city can be quite expensive. Especially if you work around there and like commuting back and fourth doesn't kick our ass already! To begin with, it is hard to find a place that is healthy, delicious, AND cheap. Also, you especially get tired of eating the same thing, once you've tried it all. 


There are a few wonderful and reasonably priced places that I recommend:

• Kati Rolls on 39th between 5th and 6th Ave - delicious Indian rolls in a variety of fillings Veg and Non Veg. My favorite of them all is the Aloo masala roll.  2 for only $8, not bad =) http://www.thekatirollcompany.com/menu.html

• Kashmir Grill $1 Burger spot btwn 38th and 39th on 8th ave- awesome burgers for $1 and some change , double and triple deckers for only a few bucks more

• Who can forget the $1 pizza! there just about everywhere now. My favorite around the midtown area is on 7th ave between 39th and 38th Ave

• Gyro Cart on 39th Street between Madison and 5th Ave

What places do you recommend in the Midtown area? What is your favorite spot to eat in the city, that is inexpensive? 

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


When it comes to friendship, I try my best to give it my 100%.  One part of friendship, to me, is being able to express my opinions to them whether it is in their favor or not. I feel obligated to, as their friend to look out for them even when they are not looking out for themselves. Sometimes people are not aware of the situation they are in, and a third person can see the whole issue better.  Which is when good friends come in.   I have been struggling with something in my head for the past few days and don't know how to let it out. When I see a good friend of mine doing something which I perceive will have a nasty outcome, I can't help myself but to express my honest opinion to them because I don't want to see them getting hurt again and again. Especially when you know all that they've been through and they're just making a stupid decision once again. Whether they will listen to me or not, is simply out of the question. Because I feel like one has to go through something on their own to learn from their mistakes, no matter how much you can tell them otherwise.  I would still take the chance and express myself, even if my friends would be upset with me. In the long run, I would hope for them to realize their mistake and see that I meant the best for them in my heart. 


How would you give advice to a friend who you know won't take it?  or how do you even address an issue to them, with them thinking you know nothing about it (or that you "won't understand")? 

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


Sometimes you just need to appreciate yourself for all that you are inside AND out.   Self love is most important because it reflects how well you treat others.  If we feel good about ourselves, only then are we able to open heartedly accept others. There are enough critiques out there, for both women and men and we must not be one of them for ourselves.  Were always plagued about how a 'perfect' woman should be like, thin, tall, pretty,young etc. and how a 'perfect' man should be, tall, handsome,nice body, no bald spots, etc.  We need to let go of those stereotypes because no one is perfect nor will they ever be. There is always one flaw we can point out in ourselves only because of this "image" that society creates and our need to meet it. 


Give yourself a break! There is no need to please anyone but yourself. Get comfortable with WHO you are as a person. Set goals for yourself that you must meet in order to feel achievement. Lose a couple of pounds to maintain a healthy weight, NOT because people tell you that you need to lose it.   Do something nice for yourself, its ok to give yourself a treat whatever it may be.  Be kind to others and to yourself. Take responsibility of YOUR life, don't let others take it for you. You are more than capable enough to do so =) 


It seems a bit hypocritical of me to write this, because I judge myself a lot as well. BUT I thought i'd share my personal goals perhaps for some encouragement (for myself and YOU).  I always put others before me and I am conscious about what other people think (certain times, not all). 


What I would like to work on is my weight.  I was never self conscious about my weight, ever. but recently, this is one thing I have been wanting to do for myself. To get to my ideal weight 120lbs!  It would definitely help me love myself more, as well as boost my self esteem up!


How do you 'love yourself' ? I'd love to hear what you do to look/feel good about yourself. OR what your goals are to do so.

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


There are times in my life where I feel completely stuck. Like I don't know which way to go. I feel like i'm juggling way too many things at once. There is so much I wish and plan to do, but while working on one, I either completely let go of the other task or its very minimal.  I'm always trying to think positive and do positive things! I feel the lack of support sometimes, even though I have many loved ones who always support me.  Even though those people are physically there, I still feel alone. I dislike being so independent sometimes, but I guess it has its pros and cons. I've been extra sensitive for the past few days, lacking self confidence, self worth, and feel plain old 'shitty'. I don't necessarily feel stressed, but more like lost and trying to figure out what to do next .
My resolution to clear my cloudy mind: Photography, Henna, Jewelry making, just keeping myself as busy as I can be. Trying to find positive things in myself, FOR myself. Wearing my favorite shirt, or scarf, or socks, or jewelry, or undergarment ,or wearing my favorite color, that makes me feel beautiful. 


What is the one thing you wear or do, when you feel lost? How do you lift your own spirits up, without the help of anyone?

Update on Contest 1200:
Only 74 more views to reach 1200!


Don't forget to participate! Here's what you have to do:


1-Subscribe to my blog
2-Comment on one QOTW blog post (Question of the week)
3-Comment on one other blog post from 2012


Prize: One handmade bracelet by me

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


I'm sure we've all heard about Trayvon Martin's killing, which is absolutely horrible. It just makes me extremely upset because this could be any of us, from any racial stereotype. Whether you are Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Middle eastern, , etc  there will always be people who are too ignorant, racist towards you. It's totally wrong to judge someone like George Zimmerman did with Trayvon, just because of his appearance. and yea we all might say, "oh I know that, or believe that" but what are we really doing to change that perspective? What are we teaching the younger generations to come? Are we standing up for it when we see it? Most likely not. and I am definitely not implying that I'm perfect in that sense either. But what I do know is that I have a clean heart towards anyone, regardless of what racial background they come from. When I get into arguments with a specific person associated with that background, I never judge everyone else as the same. I do stand up for things when I see it, and would never ever teach my future kids to think a certain way about a race.  I've been contemplating writing about the topic of racism/hatred for a while now, but I have so much to say about it, and just didn't know where to start.
Being a Muslim woman, I've experienced plenty of racism towards me as well, no doubt. I still remember how differently I was treated since DAY ONE of when I started to wear my Hijab, which was about 2-3 years ago. I remember how everyone looked at me differently while riding the train, or while walking down the street, especially after 9/11.  I've had several racial phrases thrown at me, "terrorist", "go back to your own country", "go hide your face somewhere" "go home and be abused by your husband" blah blah the list goes on! My family members get treated like this as well, when going to hospitals for example not only once but twice, being seated while everyone in the whole waiting area got called-seen-and went home (regardless of whether they arrived before or after my parents) and my parents still sat there waiting! I could go on forever and give one example after another. 
My point is, there will always be someone who will treat you negatively because of your race, but you can't let that get to you  or try and take revenge for it. If there is change within yourself, of our views towards other races, only then will there be changes in the rest of the world.  It all starts with one individual who then influences those around them by his/her actions.


My question to you is, what experiences have you had with racism? and if there was one thing that you would want everyone to know about this, what would it be?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


Ahh, it was such a gorgeous day today! Hoping it stays like this! A little breezy, a lot of sunshine, not too humid, just perfect!  I think my favorite season is Spring. I'ts just beautiful with the good weather and the beautiful flowers especially! I can't wait till they fully bloom.  I totally believe that the weather has an effect on your mood. To me at least, when its crappy weather (cold, rainy,snowy, etc) I feel lazier and more depressed.  When the weather is nice, I feel better and therefore look better as well! There is definitely a correlation between these factors! 


What kind of weather makes you feel and look your greatest? and do you believe it indeed comes hand in hand?

Pet peeves

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


I can go on and on about my pet peeves because i'm annoyed with just about everything! LOL joke!
On a real note, one of the things that really annoy me are when women don't wash their hands after they go the bathroom!
Disgusting much?! 
So everyday at work, whenever I head to the restroom its always the same person I bump into whenever I go there. That's annoying itself lol. but what annoys me more is when you clearly know the person used the bathroom and they either don't wash their hands, OR just rinse it with just water for literally 2 seconds and leave!!! 
I find that very very annoying and disgusting (and I thought men were like that lol) 
I mean, what the hell is the soap for?! and how hard is it for people to take a minute and wash their hands properly???
This is one of the things that are killing us, I tell you. Germs being spread like that. You never know where someones hands have been!
I'm not a germ-a-phobe freak but strictly believe in hand washing when it comes to certain things. Even if I go to the bathroom to check out the mirror, I'd still wash my hands! because of people like that, who don't wash their hands and touch all the handles and doorknobs ! 


So my question to you is, what is your biggest pet peeve?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


Oh Monday's, I wasn't even done with Saturday why did you come so quick? 
After an extremely short "weekend" this semester, since I have class on Saturdays now I feel like the weekend flies by! I barely have time to catch up on sleep,do laundry, clean my room and rest of the house, AND take my mom out for her errands! So after an extremely dragged Monday I went home, ate some yummy dinner, got into my comfy house clothes, got in bed and started watching one of my favorite TV shows, Nikita. Usually when I relax, I have a whole bunch of junk food around and just lay in my bed give myself a manicure, and listen to music. Was too tired for even that part last night lol. Well we each have our own ways of relaxing, and for the QOTW, 




After an exhausting day, how do you kick back and relax?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)


Stressful situations are a part of everyday life.  We each have different coping mechanisms that help us get through those feelings.  There is a sequence of  things that I do to get over something, depending on how extreme they are. 


 Of course I begin with shedding a few tears, if it's that hurtful/stressful. I'm not afraid to admit that there's times when I curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out, throw things around, etc...(oh ya, I have that temper although it might not seem like it)
Another thing that helps me is FOOD.  It is my best friend, one that will never let me down when I need it most ! Sometimes the cravings are for something spicy and sometimes sweet !
Lastly, Shopping! who can forget about that? As funny as it might sound, it actually does help me a lot. Whenever i'm feeling down  and have that $, my hands itch to spend! It distracts my mind, for that day at least until I cool down =)


So my question to you is, 
What is your coping mechanism during stressful situations you come across in life?


 I'm curious to know your responses! so plz don't be afraid to answer, even if you choose to do so anonymously!  

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)

For several weeks now, I've been thinking about the concept of forgiveness.  Im definitely not the type of person who holds grudges, intentionally at least. But when you forgive someone, I feel like its not necessary to keep them around.  My mom has been tellling me otherwise. Ive been arguing with her recently to prove my point .  

Allow me to explain:  Lets jus say I have known friend A for just a little over a year. Have treated him/her like a sibling and was always there for everything they needed.  They came to me only when they needed to get things done, but i was ok with that. Until one day,they just crossed the line. Starting to say things about me and taking advantage of how nice my parents are with "them".One thing that I cannot stand, is when someone is "FAKE", we all have come across close friends even who turn out to be something they never were.   And friend  A got into arguments with my parents because of things other people said about them. Then the ugliness came out. Friend A started being rude, saying hurtful things about me, about my life, the way I am, when they know not even 1/4 of my personality. blah..anywho, long story short, they realized what they had said and done and wanted to apologize to me about it.  I accepted the apology, with some hesitation in the beginning due to the anger I had inside. (anger for just that moment, doesnt mean I would or did lose sleep over what they had said).  

I fully forgave that person, but am I wrong to not want to bump into them again? to have an, even short convo with them?  IDK. I dont feel that its necessary to keep them around because it will just cause me to feel negativity  towards them unintentionally. 

The thing im fussing over, is the fact that my mom is the type of person who will forgive and forget and will be the same with that person, even after continuously being disappointed by them. She is pushing that on me and telling me that its ok to meet that person and be "normal" with them just because they asked for forgiveness.  I honestly feel at peace once I forgive them and dont feel like its necessary to keep them around. It reminds me of a quote I once read, "Always forgive, but never forget their names". ONLY to the extent where ur only protecting urself from getting hurt again. Not  to the point where u have a payback list of names lol . What do you guys think?

Do you feel like its necessary to forgive and really forget? Or forgive and turn the other way, and live ur life?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)

How would you define/describe 

Love?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)

Let's face it. No matter how much you want to keep the young ones young, u can't keep them protected from the "rest of the world" for too long. It just hit me today what my mother says, " you'll know how it feels once u have ur own kids". Although I kinda grasped the concept without getting married or  having any kids yet. Lol.

I've been observing life closely for quite a while now and it has definitely opened my eyes, and changed me from within. For the most part, this change feels good. No disappointments, as of yet and I'm planning on keeping it that way!  

Back to my initial thought: it scares me how fast the young ones around me,mostly family/friends are growing. From babysitting them as kids,to playing with them,celebrating birthdays after birthdays (and many more to come IA), fighting,lecturing, being there for them, time seems to be slipping through like an hourglass.   You see the other half of the sand, going down slowly and u start panicking but there's ntn you can do to stop it. (Just turn the hourglass around again, lol don't we wish!) I just feel extremely concerned about where these kids are heading. They can't stay in the nest any longer, they must face "life". Because that's what life is about, isn't it?  (Makes me think about how crazy I would get once I have some kids of my own, lol). 

On that note, 
When is it too late to try and protect them? or is it ever?

QOTW!

(Question Of The Week)

Life is a roller coaster, as we know it! We go through a rush of emotions/experiences. sometimes we feel like we are the only ones that feel that way, or we don't see beyond what we know. My goal is to have people share their experiences about certain things, broaden their minds, or just vent! (trust me, it helps a lot). I will ask one question per week and I would like to know what you think about it. =)

What do YOU(him,her,them,they) think?

As a child, you ask mommy or daddy, "Mommy(or daddy) what do you think about my new dress?

As a teenager, you ask your friends, "Do you think he's(or she's) cute?

As an adult, you ask your spouse, "What do you think about that house, can we make it a home?

Growing up, we come across many people whose opinions matter to us, and those whose opinions we could care less about.  We all come across a point in our lives where we look for support from that ONE person who matters most. Someone who makes us who we are. Someone that keeps us going every day.  Someone who swears they will be with us through thick and thin. Someone we KNOW, genuinely cares for and loves us. 

Sometimes we hear agreements, other times they disagree strongly. They may fail to understand because we only know so much until we are in their shoes, right? They may have certain expectations FROM you and OF you, which might not match yours. Then what? 

How much do we care about what 'others' think of us? and to what extent do we go along with it?